I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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