At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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