sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
