goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Couch. On fire.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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