You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
