I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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