Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
