is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
