He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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