areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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