ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
