Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
