Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
