who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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