sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
