So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
