She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
