You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
