i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
