i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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