does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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