I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
