It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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