Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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