just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We are all done wearing pants today
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
