Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
vagina is talking i cant
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
