I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
