jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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