When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
