So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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