we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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