I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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