Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
