If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
