we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
