he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
