I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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