i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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