I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
