Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
