we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
