I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize