Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
