A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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