I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
