it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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