how can u be prego again
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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