I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
