Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
