Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
