Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
