My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
