If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
