did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
