Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
