I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
