So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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