why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
