i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
